running away might be a solution.. 
but where would i go? 
need peace and quite.. somewhere
where no one i know will find me..
where i can find all the answers to the questions
i dont even know yet..
these mix feelings are not good feelings
i want to be alone and yet i dont want to..
i feel afraid to be alone
but there are times i feel that i am alone
and times when i feel that i can make it alone..
wish this unknown nagging feeling would go away..
wish i could feel like my old self again.. 

Lately..

Lama sudah tidak menulis.. Hari ni suddenly terasa macam mau menulis..

Lately I feel strange.. Don't know why but sometimes I feel like I don't have a purpose in life.. Macam aku mencari sesuatu tapi aku sendiri pun not sure apa dia "sesuatu" itu? Sounds crazy? haha.. I thought so too.. These past few months, ada beberapa orang yang pigi umrah.. Ntah bila la turn aku dpt pigi umrah.. Rasa mauuuuuuuu btul pigi walaupun rasanya diri ni blum layak lg untuk menjejak kaki kesana.. Bila baca/ dengar pengalaman orang masa pi sana, macam - macam perasaan timbul.. Rasa terharu.. rasa mo menangis pun ada.. itu baru dengar cerita, blum lg sendiri pigi.. haih.. Mudah - mudahan la Allah panjangkan umur, murahkan rezeki supaya dapat jgk aku menjejak kaki kesana.. amin..